Drowning in Poison

Do you think you're the only one who feels these things? I feel them too, I always have. The doubt, the pain, the angst. I feel it too. I'm just as human as you, maybe even less so, but right now, we're both in pain. I've been holding back tears and I don't want to move. I just want to lay in bed until something feels right again. I'll make you feel better because I know that hopeless feeling you're choking on. I've tasted it and drank it down like a vile of poison. It eats me from the inside. I'm dying. Save me?

Three days out of Fourteen

I'm alone tonight. Been alone the past few nights and I still have a while to go. It's starting to hurt, that stab when you left. Like the numb in a wound. The tears stung my face, little acid droplets. I told myself not to cry. It wasn't until those last few seconds that I noticed that you were really leaving. I didn't think it would happen, but here I am, craving a sweet embrace I cannot have. I'm holding back the tears cause it's only been three days. Save my tears for your return. Cry into your shoulder because that's where I long to be. It seems so far away right now. The days where I was holding you, the days where you were no farther than arm's reach. It's only been three days yet I feel like each hour takes a part of me. This can't last forever. And then, the dark side shows and I'm scared. This can't last forever, he has to come back, right? He'll come back in one piece. He won't leave forever. He'll kiss me again, right? There are so many things that could go wrong. And it's only been three days.

Running As Fast as I can

Running away from everything I once knew. I'm running from the life I once lived. There won't be a life to come back to after this. The memories of my old life, it's odd how things got this way. I'm still not sure what forever means, still not sure how love is supposed to work. Hell, I'm not even sure if I can make it in the real world. Right now, I'm diving head first into the ocean. Am I even ready for this? Can it be true that it's time so soon? Leaving everything I held dear to start a new life with them. What am I going to do?

You're My God?

You're yelling and screaming, drowning in the ocean of your own tears. When did Alice start watching others suffer in her Wonderland? I'm sorry you've done this to yourself. I'm so sorry you thought you could be God. Well honey, if you're God then I'm an atheist for a damn good reason. It's over and done with, there's nothing you can say that can save yourself. So God, start praying for some forgiveness. Maybe your God is kinder than you are. Maybe your God will understand your sins?

Turn Off The Lights

Bra strap hanging off my shoulder, cold air hitting my bare skin. Whip my pants into the hamper, shirt soon to follow. I'm laying awake thinking about him and his damn green eyes. I'm thinking about his hands in my hair and his lips on every inch of me. Got nothing but his sweater on and I know he'd find it so cute. My mischievous little mind is up to it's no good tricks with those damned green eyes. I've got some lovin to give and man do I wish I could have it tonight. I'll wait like a good little girl, can't rush perfection. Gotta give him something to want, give him a chance to want. Just because I want it now, doesn't mean I should. The best wines take time so I'll let this little thought brew in my head. Sides, gotta savour that cake. That green eyed cake.

At Least I Have a Band-Aid

My thumb's bleeding darling. Will you suck out the blood? Would you suck out my heart? I feel like it's breaking again. I never thought a heart could ache so much when you're so deeply in love. Darling? What's wrong with me today? What was wrong yesterday? I'm not alone yet the solitude is surrounding me on all sides. I'm not alone yet my body is a cold as the tundra. When you're in love, isn't it supposed to be warm? Hot with passion, cool with temptation? No one told me about the cold, I didn't have time to bundle up. Where's the kisses in the rain, love story moments? When was love changed on me? I have to admit, the sour makes the sweet that much sweeter. Can you feel me screaming silently into the air? Can you hear my blood dripping on the carpet? Please tell me I'm not alone when I go crazy over your love. Is this what love is supposed to feel like?

Daydreams

Silence floods as I walked across the threshold. Where could my sunshine be? She's always here to greet me. "Sunshine?" I call into the darkness, searching across the house. "Sunshine?" Again, nothing in return. I poke my head into the bedroom and there's nothing but a single light by the bed that illuminates the room. Odd for this one room to be lit and nothing else. Then I feel soft hands slide under my shirt. and across my stomach. "There you are, I've been looking for you," She says nothing but turns me for a kiss. I feel need leak through her lips. Her tongue assaulting mine in a sensual battle for dominance. When we part, her look is intense. Her calm blue eyes lit by a sort of fire stirring within. "Darling?" Her outfit consisted of nothing more than an old button-up of mine. Now I understood. She moved slowly, as if a snake waiting to devour her mouse. Slowly, and rather teasingly, she unbuttoned the shirt letting it fall to the ground. She Ripped my shirt off my body and soon, pants followed. "Love?" Her mouth again fell over mine and for a second, I could only focus on her mouth. But soon her body was over mine and then I was in her. The feeling surged through me as eletro-static. I wasn't expecting it nor was I complaining. We pressed together as she held me hostage of her body. Her breasts held tightly in my hand and she held my mind tightly. Amazing how she moved seemed to send electricity through my veins. My blood boiled at each moan that escaped her mouth and I felt my height of sweet pleasure rush through me. Her sweet scream carried me to the finish line and we both collapsed together. Panting in sync. "Darling," She said breathy. "Stop making me miss you,"

You are my writers block.

The Drive Home

When we can't be together, my mind gets mixed up in all sorts of things. I can't tell if I'm paranoid or just worried. Maybe I'm selfish, wanting all your smiles to be mine. I want to be your escape, your happy place. I've been bothered recently about things I know I shouldn't worry about, about things that don't even concern me. I've been watching from afar as my only friend starts to leave me. Maybe it's because I've never been this alone in my life, or maybe it's that I can't let go. Things that never used to scare me, now render me hopeless and frightened. I know it's stupid of me to feel this way but I can't stop it. I'm not even sure how to stop it. I can't ask for things, I can't say things, because all my words don't sound right. I don't want to be too demanding, I can't be assertive. I've had to do things on my own and it's like stepping off the shelf in the ocean into that void. I'm scared and running out of air. I don't want to bother you to help me, I don't want to ask for help because I know they have more important things to do. Now, one by one, my friends are leaving me behind and I can't help it, I can't change it, and soon you'll be the only one I have left. I don't want to put that stress on you. I don't want to be a burden. I need you too hold me tight or at least hold my hand. I can't just jump out into the world, I can't just change. I need you to help me.

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

Let's take a walk darling, just the two of us. Let's take a walk around in the grass. I wanna talk to you. Tell me about yourself, tell me about your likes and dislikes, your fears and your and dreams. Let's take a moment to just find out who we are again. So lets hold hands and take a walk, let's see all the brighter things in life. Just because I love you darling.