Haven't Had Enough

One taste and I'm thinking that it's the one who got away but I'm too far gone. It's too late for me. I've already made things impossible for myself. Now I'm sitting, wondering, what if?

A Priceless Girl

It's an often thought of mine, where my princess is. Is she scared to look for me as well? Nervous out in a world full of sharks. I think about her all the time. What color is her hair? Does she like rock or country better? Would she fall asleep on me if she was super sleepy or would she claim she was fine and do her best to stay awake? I think about her all the time. I wonder what color her eyes would be. I wonder what she would get me for valentines day. I know I'd spoil her whenever I got the chance. I'd learn how to cook her favorite meals even though I'm a menace in the kitchen. I'd teach her how to waltz and she'd laugh because I was embarrassing her. We'd watch movies together even though I'd probably pass out while holding her. I've thought it through so many times. I'd take her out on dates but because I can't drive, we'd have to take the bus back. I would do anything in my power to keep her happy because she'd be my little slice of eternal happiness. I can't wait to meet her.

Drowning in Poison

Do you think you're the only one who feels these things? I feel them too, I always have. The doubt, the pain, the angst. I feel it too. I'm just as human as you, maybe even less so, but right now, we're both in pain. I've been holding back tears and I don't want to move. I just want to lay in bed until something feels right again. I'll make you feel better because I know that hopeless feeling you're choking on. I've tasted it and drank it down like a vile of poison. It eats me from the inside. I'm dying. Save me?

Turn Off The Lights

Bra strap hanging off my shoulder, cold air hitting my bare skin. Whip my pants into the hamper, shirt soon to follow. I'm laying awake thinking about him and his damn green eyes. I'm thinking about his hands in my hair and his lips on every inch of me. Got nothing but his sweater on and I know he'd find it so cute. My mischievous little mind is up to it's no good tricks with those damned green eyes. I've got some lovin to give and man do I wish I could have it tonight. I'll wait like a good little girl, can't rush perfection. Gotta give him something to want, give him a chance to want. Just because I want it now, doesn't mean I should. The best wines take time so I'll let this little thought brew in my head. Sides, gotta savour that cake. That green eyed cake.

If You Were Here Right Now

Oh how I wish you were just so you could hold me tighter in your arms. I want to feel your skin, feel safe in the texture of your hands. My hands running through your hair and us kissing like we did that one day. Your hands on my sides, our breathing synchronized. Doesn't that sound just perfect? If you were here right now, I'd be pecking at your neck leaving a soft trail of kisses. My hands would be so cold so I'd use your tummy to warm them up. We wouldn't speak, just relax because we know it's not in the words, it's in the actions. Just laying here with you would put me at ease. If only you could be here right now.

Love Me?

I want to understand forever. I want to grasp how long it really is. We spend so much time thinking in the now that we never get a sense of forever. Well I want to know how long it is. I want to see the end of the Earth and forget all sense of time. I want to see the day forever stops and there is nothing. I want to see the death of the human race and I want to see it with you. So what do you say? Can we see forever together?

Forgotten

My, how things can change. One moment you're dancing with champagne and next your hung over on the couch with no good memories. It hurts to be alone. I need to feel something. I'm a cold mess.

{Command[life]} == Erase

Can I write a code for life? Can I make this sky purple or change this grass to razors? If I had all the power that a code gives me, I would write a new life for myself. I could be prettier. My eyes could be more blue, I could be thinner, why can't I just love who I am now? What did I do to warrant so many tears? I've been through a lot in my life and fear it may not be over. My doubts never cease and I'm starting to think this life is doomed to repeat. All I want is these terrible memories to leave. Why can't I forget? Why is his voice still clear in my head? Why must I be so tormented? What did I do? Please Hero, save me from the torment of these memories. Hold me close and make me forget. I don't want to remember.

Dark Paradise

They tell me to forget your face, forget the memories, forget those nights. Yet every time I close my eyes, it seems you're staring back at me. When you haunt my dreams, I don't want to wake up no matter how much they hurt. I've tried to let go before and all it did was get me in trouble. So I've just settled with the fact that I'm never going to fully let you go, at least not for a long while yet. It's going on three years since you left and here I am, still writing in my notebooks, still wishing on stars. One day I'll finally forget you. Maybe then, it won't hurt anymore.

Shy Girl's Lover

She's so small, you wouldn't see her in the crowd. She wears all the colors of the rainbow to stand out, yet she's still just a shadow in the background. People use her and abuse her. Her heart's been tormented, broken and strangled so she knows how to find real love by now. She's got a lot to offer to a friend who will see her. Every day, she walks those halls, being bumped and knocked down over and over but when that last bell rings, that shy girl becomes someone again. For there, across the lot is a silver chariot with a hero ready to see her. She slides in and he notices her. He loves her smiles, loves her eyes, loves her skin. He sees the things that no one else sees in this one girl. When the whole world walks by her, he stops and asks for her hand. He's a shy boy, no one saw him before her. Now they are over looked by most but the eyes on them as they kiss, they see that this is no normal love. This shy girl found her shy boy. Gave him her daring heart and kissed away his pain. He's her lover, that strange hero.

Green Lightning Strikes

A flash across the skies above, the air changes and love can be love again. No more pointless games, no more stupid tricks, just love the way it should be. When our eyes meet, it's nothing but pure. Someone who will miss me. Someone who saved me from pointless love. One willing to fight on every plain for me. Sweet cherry love from one brave enough to fight. All this time, I should have known. His sword drawn, blessed with my heart, forward he will march. I will fight alongside him. I'm tired of forever not meaning forever. So I will fight with him for as long as I can.

The Beat, That Bass

Out in the world, been rejected and suffocated. I hear something deep, feel it in my bones and I can't help but follow. The sweet sound of violins but that can't be it. I enter the club, so many people. Faces I knew, faces of torment and I'm ready to run away in fear. Then there's a pause and and then a drop I feel through my feet. My heart beats with it and I can't help but dance while that bass drops over and over. My heart alive and suddenly, the crowd is gone. It's just me dancing with a stranger. I know his face, I know this pull and before I can run away, the bass draws me to the green eyes. I don't give it a second thought as his arms wrap around me. Bass has me hypnotized into this lovers eyes and I'm not scared of anything, not focused at all. It's just me and him and it's perfect.

The Summer Time

In all your life, the things you will remember will be the chances you took and the stupid things you did. So tonight, dance hard and laugh like you're five. After all this, I'm ready to make some mistakes and learn some new things. This feeling, I'm alive again and I missed this so much. Dance, cry, laugh, and have the best night of your life because we only get one chance at this. When you have the friends that make you laugh, do the things that scare you. Don't regret.

Diamonds In The Sky.

Love unconditionally and eternally. My heart races when I feel your eyes on me. I feel it in my blood, something so strong to obliterate all of my boundaries. My skin dancing with each kiss, can you feel it? As you hold me, it's like I couldn't do anything wrong. Your lips upon mine and instantly I want to cry. Tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of sorrow, for everything I have ever done in my life. You don't know my pain, don't know the life I had before you and I pray you never see how broken I was. You are the only person to clean my wounds, to help them heal fast. When I hold your hand, it's like I'm a new person, not a scratch on my body. Amazing how a human like you, with no super powers could be so extraordinary.

Shooting Stars

I can feel my heart pounding, my skin electrified, all in the gaze of the blue eyes that I had overlooked ages ago. A human holding me close to his chest, his heart beating for only me. All alone in the dark, his arms wrapped around my heart. Still, quiet, just breathing together. Nothing needs to be said, just knowing that we are here. Nothing we can think of, just our love. Purple stars above, moving all around us. The beauty of the simple things. The daylight creeping behind curtains. No one exists outside our little room. No need for anyone else because at that moment, we have everything we could ever need. We are infinite.

Sweet Escape

When something inside you screams, listen. Your heart is telling you something. When you feel you cannot cry anymore, fix what made you cry. Nothing is forever but you can make it last as long as you live. For a human, I'd give my very being away if it meant one more day in his arms. The past doesn't have to hold you down, you can rise above your sins if you can admit to having committed them. I will not let myself fall. I have someone to stand by, someone who holds me close. My human is worth so much more than I can give but he settles for what I am. I shall not fall for the arms of one are keeping me safe. My sweet sweet human.

What Was Once There.

There was a time before I was born that my mother was so in love with my father. There was a time before I was born that they were perfect together. All that has changed now. It's like a distant dream to her and I can hardly remember their marriage. I don't remember much from when I was little but I remember the fights. I remember my dad leaving and I remember my mom leaving. I remember the year I spent without her. Everyone told me she was never coming back, that she had left for good. One long day, I came home ready to cry and I remember my mom standing there. I remember her telling me we wouldn't be apart anymore. I remember finally seeing my only mommy again and how happy I was. Since that day, I've grown up so much. She's been telling me more and more about the times I didn't know of before I was born. She's taught me how to get through life and now she's teaching me how to piece together my heart after I was the one who broke it. This lesson will take forever to learn but I know that if she just stays to talk, I can get through this. She knows I'm still in love with my prince, she knows about everything in my life. Now I think back to when she was still in love with my dad, how fast it went downhill. She's telling me what to do, how to be the best person I can be. She's there and I know that.

If Memories Could Kill....

My mind is playing clips from the past, letting me know how idiotic I can be. All those missed moments. Everything I could have done in that time. All the time I could have been with the right people. I wish my prince was here. I wish he could hold me, tell me that the memories can't hurt me here. He would make sure I wouldn't cry in his arms. If I said I loved him, I would be wrong. This love will never leave me, never even try and diminish. I did this, I ruined it and I can't even remember why. I wish I could remember but all I have are these fake letters. Everything I say is worth nothing. I wish I could be more, fix myself but the only time I feel whole is when he whispers how much he still loves me after all I've put him through. But I'm watching these memories flash by as if it was all a distant dream. I can't live like this. I want to pretend that I'll be okay but I know the truth and so do most. My only wish is that he thinks I'm still strong. I hope he thinks that this isn't effecting me. I hope he doesn't learn the truth. I don't want to feel the pain I feel right now knowing that I can't fix this. My sweet prince, if only I could rewind time. All the love I could know is put onto him. All my being. I miss him. I love him. My prince.

Lost Memories

If you fall in love over candy, is it sweet? I once fell in love over candy and it tasted sweet. I always did love the taste of something I had always wished for. He was my prince. So sweet I got a cavity drilled right into my confidence. No matter what he did, I always did doubt myself. It was no one's fault, just my insecurities playing in my head. What was my fault was what I decided to do to try and fix it. I broke his heart over and over again thinking it would be better apart. Well I'm almost always wrong. Every time, I knew I would never be whole without him. Then one day he drew a line and told me we couldn't keep doing this. I had one last chance to prove everything I could be, that I could change. Well I certainly did a bang up job of that. One moment, I'm trying to make it work and the next I'm crying alone. I wish I knew what happened but I don't even remember. So now I'm alone. I wish I knew why but I don't remember. Everyday and night, I run my fingers over the memories, tracing them back through the days. I want to cry but I'm stronger than that.

Introduction to Chaos

That's it. Gone for so long and still more time left till he comes back home. He'll be a changed man but I plan to change just as much. That damned angel stole my heart but I'm taking it back now. I'm starting this over with the rules clearly posted. I'll play his game but I won't lose. Now I've gone and found perfect chaos. As my prince leaves as instructed, chaos finds me in the darkest nights. First one random conversation and now, everyday, I hear his call. Always talking. He wants to know more, wants to listen yet wants to speak. Chaos has gripped my life but I know how to break free. As illusive as a ghost, this chaos will appear onto me and only me. Our souls playing chess, seeing who can win. Chaos in the form of a human. He'll play this game too. Now the game is set and it's his turn. What's his first move? I'm prepared. My prince, I'll watch him move on and hold my tongue cause he's got to keep forward. I'll always love him and that will be forever the baggage he carries. A little part of me inside his soul and he'll always know that under this sky, I'm watching out for him cause I'll always love him. As he walks slowly away from this train wreck, I'll be picking myself off and prepare for flight. Heaven or Hell, I'll fly off to where ever. This chaos is the first step.