These Tears Will Fall

I must not cry, cannot show how much I regret. I have to stay strong but I wish I could fall apart. I wish I could just let all of the sadness I feel flow out of my heart. I want to cry, can't show how much I want to erase my life. I've been through so much just because I make the wrong decisions. My prince knew that I was crazy and I wish he could tell me what to do. Wish I had a human here to keep me calm. Wish I had an angel to help me fly and a devil to remind me how to keep the aces in my hand. I may cry, just not around those who make me cry. I won't let them win. After all I have been through to get where I am, I will follow through and find out what I should do. I'll let the mold change and I'll let them press me in but there will always be a part of me that won't conform no matter how hard they try. I will never let them crush me. I am, and forever will be, strong. I will cry, I will hurt but I will be strong. You can't crush me. Can't change me. I am forever, I am infinite. It's my turn to deal the cards.

Is It Wrong To Feel Nothing?

I know my heart is breaking, I know I didn't think this through. I acted without reason and I know some part of me is reacting, but I can't feel a thing. I'm not going to let myself feel this pain again. Shut off all emotions and pray they don't come up at the wrong time. I'll be okay. I've hurt the people I care most about and it seems like I can't do this anymore. I feel like life would be better if not lived by me. I won't lie, there is a part of me that doesn't want to live anymore but I can't give in. I'll keep running from what scares me and keep running from all these emotions. I'll run away.

The Summer Time

In all your life, the things you will remember will be the chances you took and the stupid things you did. So tonight, dance hard and laugh like you're five. After all this, I'm ready to make some mistakes and learn some new things. This feeling, I'm alive again and I missed this so much. Dance, cry, laugh, and have the best night of your life because we only get one chance at this. When you have the friends that make you laugh, do the things that scare you. Don't regret.

Tonight

I don't know what to say or think, don't know how to feel because everything reminds of what I gave up. I don't want to feel this way but I know this is how it should be. The night feels so much colder, the day is too bright and these noises are too loud. I feel like an infected wound, where the slightest breath of air burns against me. I've tried to block it all out but when I do, I can't feel anything because everything is his. A perfect human in a perfect world and I feel like an insect that needs to be killed. He doesn't seem to care and I can't tell what he's hiding. Just feels like I ripped off a limb. It's not impossible to block it out and I guess I could try but deep down I know that everything I do, everything I say, I will think of him.

Let's Keep It Up

Let's keep going, I mean why not? Not like there would be a good reason not to. Unfortunately, that logic requires there to be a reason to keep going and I wish there was. I feel my heart beating, feel the blood running and now I feel like I need to sprint. Need to get away from this world, need to fly off into the blue and gold stars. There's no reason to be mad, there's no reason to be upset but a part of me feels like it should. I'll never understand the human ways. My life going down, I feel swallowed into a sweet lake of sugar. I don't need help, I want to drown. I want to drown.

Alone is a Funny Feeling

All the fingerprints of those who changed me. Like footprints on the moon, no one can take away those feelings. I know the devil doesn't know what he put me through. Angel doesn't know how much he meant. A demon didn't know the hope he gave and a prince didn't know how he saved me. Soon, I will be lost to them. When they leave again, I don't know what I'll do. Every day, I just walk on, foot in front of the other. I have things on my mind and faces in my head. So much has happened and I wonder, am I ready for another summer? Two years ago, my summer turned my life upside down. I learned of the heart racing love of someone who didn't love you. It may seem strange but I miss the feeling. Heart racing, mind blurring infatuation. That must be what drove me off a cliff and honestly, I don't deserve the life I have and I'm not even sure if I want it anymore. I feel like a very heavy heart. When I wake up, I don't see much point in the day. I used to wake up wondering what the day would be. I miss adventure but I like the safety net I have. What would life be like to live on the edge again? I thought the same thing two years ago and I had the best summer. Should I let history repeat itself? And tomorrow, the last of what keeps me going will be gone. I have my human but I wonder when he will see the broken girl I have come to be. I wonder when he'll give up.

Diamonds In The Sky.

Love unconditionally and eternally. My heart races when I feel your eyes on me. I feel it in my blood, something so strong to obliterate all of my boundaries. My skin dancing with each kiss, can you feel it? As you hold me, it's like I couldn't do anything wrong. Your lips upon mine and instantly I want to cry. Tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of sorrow, for everything I have ever done in my life. You don't know my pain, don't know the life I had before you and I pray you never see how broken I was. You are the only person to clean my wounds, to help them heal fast. When I hold your hand, it's like I'm a new person, not a scratch on my body. Amazing how a human like you, with no super powers could be so extraordinary.

Shooting Stars

I can feel my heart pounding, my skin electrified, all in the gaze of the blue eyes that I had overlooked ages ago. A human holding me close to his chest, his heart beating for only me. All alone in the dark, his arms wrapped around my heart. Still, quiet, just breathing together. Nothing needs to be said, just knowing that we are here. Nothing we can think of, just our love. Purple stars above, moving all around us. The beauty of the simple things. The daylight creeping behind curtains. No one exists outside our little room. No need for anyone else because at that moment, we have everything we could ever need. We are infinite.

Roses Tonight

I hold the dear flower close to my heart, feel the fading life absorb into my skin. The red leaks into my lips. Soft petals smooth my skin. My blood takes in the thorns of something so strong. A rose, a sweet little rose and I feel as though I could not compare. So small yet so much more than I could ever be.

Remember What You Did?

I look into the eyes of evil and the pain is unbelievable. The thoughts, the memories, the pain of it all rushing back. That night so long ago, how I thought it would never happen. The night air, the shadows that danced in the dark. I can't remember this, it's too painful. What he did to me, all the pain. That devil with his piercing eyes. His hands, the feel of each touch. Torment, sweet torment. When I think of him, I want to cry. I want to erase him. The devil that killed a part of me forever. Those eyes, those eyes.... they follow me. I can never escape the shame or regret for what happened to me. What he did will never be forgiven and I wish I could forget all of it. Even now, the very sight scares me, sends me into a cold place. His face, those eyes. I remember them so well. I remember the stare when he asked me to walk with him. I remember the soft words that made me feel safe. The eyes that watched me, broke me down, made me scream for him. He could only tempt the best, break them down until they had nothing left to look forward to. All this pain still left after these years. I can't let him go, he made sure that I would never forget him. A part of me will be forever trapped with him. Trapped in hell with the devil.