Alone is a Funny Feeling

All the fingerprints of those who changed me. Like footprints on the moon, no one can take away those feelings. I know the devil doesn't know what he put me through. Angel doesn't know how much he meant. A demon didn't know the hope he gave and a prince didn't know how he saved me. Soon, I will be lost to them. When they leave again, I don't know what I'll do. Every day, I just walk on, foot in front of the other. I have things on my mind and faces in my head. So much has happened and I wonder, am I ready for another summer? Two years ago, my summer turned my life upside down. I learned of the heart racing love of someone who didn't love you. It may seem strange but I miss the feeling. Heart racing, mind blurring infatuation. That must be what drove me off a cliff and honestly, I don't deserve the life I have and I'm not even sure if I want it anymore. I feel like a very heavy heart. When I wake up, I don't see much point in the day. I used to wake up wondering what the day would be. I miss adventure but I like the safety net I have. What would life be like to live on the edge again? I thought the same thing two years ago and I had the best summer. Should I let history repeat itself? And tomorrow, the last of what keeps me going will be gone. I have my human but I wonder when he will see the broken girl I have come to be. I wonder when he'll give up.

Diamonds In The Sky.

Love unconditionally and eternally. My heart races when I feel your eyes on me. I feel it in my blood, something so strong to obliterate all of my boundaries. My skin dancing with each kiss, can you feel it? As you hold me, it's like I couldn't do anything wrong. Your lips upon mine and instantly I want to cry. Tears of joy, tears of pain, tears of sorrow, for everything I have ever done in my life. You don't know my pain, don't know the life I had before you and I pray you never see how broken I was. You are the only person to clean my wounds, to help them heal fast. When I hold your hand, it's like I'm a new person, not a scratch on my body. Amazing how a human like you, with no super powers could be so extraordinary.

Shooting Stars

I can feel my heart pounding, my skin electrified, all in the gaze of the blue eyes that I had overlooked ages ago. A human holding me close to his chest, his heart beating for only me. All alone in the dark, his arms wrapped around my heart. Still, quiet, just breathing together. Nothing needs to be said, just knowing that we are here. Nothing we can think of, just our love. Purple stars above, moving all around us. The beauty of the simple things. The daylight creeping behind curtains. No one exists outside our little room. No need for anyone else because at that moment, we have everything we could ever need. We are infinite.

Roses Tonight

I hold the dear flower close to my heart, feel the fading life absorb into my skin. The red leaks into my lips. Soft petals smooth my skin. My blood takes in the thorns of something so strong. A rose, a sweet little rose and I feel as though I could not compare. So small yet so much more than I could ever be.

Remember What You Did?

I look into the eyes of evil and the pain is unbelievable. The thoughts, the memories, the pain of it all rushing back. That night so long ago, how I thought it would never happen. The night air, the shadows that danced in the dark. I can't remember this, it's too painful. What he did to me, all the pain. That devil with his piercing eyes. His hands, the feel of each touch. Torment, sweet torment. When I think of him, I want to cry. I want to erase him. The devil that killed a part of me forever. Those eyes, those eyes.... they follow me. I can never escape the shame or regret for what happened to me. What he did will never be forgiven and I wish I could forget all of it. Even now, the very sight scares me, sends me into a cold place. His face, those eyes. I remember them so well. I remember the stare when he asked me to walk with him. I remember the soft words that made me feel safe. The eyes that watched me, broke me down, made me scream for him. He could only tempt the best, break them down until they had nothing left to look forward to. All this pain still left after these years. I can't let him go, he made sure that I would never forget him. A part of me will be forever trapped with him. Trapped in hell with the devil.

It's Even Darker Here

I remember a time when the night would bring me a bliss so divine. I remember when I craved the moon. Back when I had things to hide, a life that not many knew of. I remember feeling so in love with the moonlight lovers that found me. I remember the heartbreak and the insults. I remember the dark place I found. A place where it was always my dear night. I made a place where no person could hurt me, forever embraced my the lusty moon. I look back at those days and I get a little scared. That place in my head is still there and the need is still there but I can walk and enjoy the sunlight now. The day brings him closer to my skin. Sweet human drawn to the sun on my skin. I can hear something inside that wants to scream and run. Everything he is, it's every one of my fears. Somehow, I'm drawn to the fear, drawn to the heart racing romance. Almost as if my lusty midnight self found a way into the sun. I would like to say that I know this isn't me but I can't tell who I am anymore. All my dreams are falling and things are scary. I have friends, maybe two or three but not many can handle my outspoken nature and need to be a sarcastic bitch. I find this world to be too cold, too hot, and too painful. I miss my angel sometimes. I miss my devil and demon. I wonder what all this should be about? Who am I going to be? What is the point? I stand forever in the sun. I will get burned. This will hurt but I want to feel it myself and search this world for all that it is worth. I may travel to the very end and never find anything but I paved the path for someone else to. When I die, I'll go to a place that's warm with thunderstorms that take away your breath. Green grass and a home I've always loved. As for the story of me, there's not much I could leave out. I must make sure others don't make the same mistakes. Until the day I die, I want him to kiss me with that hunger in his eyes. I love that human and everything that he is.

Sweet Escape

When something inside you screams, listen. Your heart is telling you something. When you feel you cannot cry anymore, fix what made you cry. Nothing is forever but you can make it last as long as you live. For a human, I'd give my very being away if it meant one more day in his arms. The past doesn't have to hold you down, you can rise above your sins if you can admit to having committed them. I will not let myself fall. I have someone to stand by, someone who holds me close. My human is worth so much more than I can give but he settles for what I am. I shall not fall for the arms of one are keeping me safe. My sweet sweet human.

Empty

Drowning in the sea I created. Lost in a world all my own. Everything I love wants to leave me. My creative spirit is gone and all I can think of is if I could redo it all. If I could start over. I go through my head of all the things that have happened. The new year with a great smile. Valentine's Day with a valentine. Love that was fully returned. Everything feels broken and I can't stand to face the light of the next day to come. Everything I have done, I have done for a reason and for the first time, I feel like I cannot control my own fate. 'The heart does a slow death, shedding each joy until there is nothing. No hopes, no dreams.' I cannot begin to fathom the amount of pain I have caused nor can I attain for my actions but right now, I need the love of the human for whom I have done wrong. I feel I may lose the biggest part of my new found life.

Crashing

My heart is screaming what to do but I don't want to listen. Lost inside my human but I'm still waiting for something else. Looking for something to fall apart. When I look into the eyes of what has held me so tightly, I see nothing that could resemble safe. I like the pit but I'm in love again and again and maybe this will last. Maybe I'll win this. Maybe he will be the last. Or maybe this will fall apart in the wake of the blackness.

Of Knights and Day

Falling in love is never fairly easy. Finding the right person at the right time. To fall out of love is the trick. No matter how bad the relationship was, a part of you will still be in love, a part will still miss them. I wish that didn't have to be true. Here I sit, lost in my thoughts, my prince is still in my head. I try not to miss him, try not to bother him but in a way, I wish he was still mine. I know that we are forever apart but sometimes I want to rewind back into his arms. He always had a strong grip on my heart. I wish I could go back to that. I'm happy with my new life but my old life brought me here. Sometimes, it's hard to let go.