Crashing

My heart is screaming what to do but I don't want to listen. Lost inside my human but I'm still waiting for something else. Looking for something to fall apart. When I look into the eyes of what has held me so tightly, I see nothing that could resemble safe. I like the pit but I'm in love again and again and maybe this will last. Maybe I'll win this. Maybe he will be the last. Or maybe this will fall apart in the wake of the blackness.