It's Even Darker Here

I remember a time when the night would bring me a bliss so divine. I remember when I craved the moon. Back when I had things to hide, a life that not many knew of. I remember feeling so in love with the moonlight lovers that found me. I remember the heartbreak and the insults. I remember the dark place I found. A place where it was always my dear night. I made a place where no person could hurt me, forever embraced my the lusty moon. I look back at those days and I get a little scared. That place in my head is still there and the need is still there but I can walk and enjoy the sunlight now. The day brings him closer to my skin. Sweet human drawn to the sun on my skin. I can hear something inside that wants to scream and run. Everything he is, it's every one of my fears. Somehow, I'm drawn to the fear, drawn to the heart racing romance. Almost as if my lusty midnight self found a way into the sun. I would like to say that I know this isn't me but I can't tell who I am anymore. All my dreams are falling and things are scary. I have friends, maybe two or three but not many can handle my outspoken nature and need to be a sarcastic bitch. I find this world to be too cold, too hot, and too painful. I miss my angel sometimes. I miss my devil and demon. I wonder what all this should be about? Who am I going to be? What is the point? I stand forever in the sun. I will get burned. This will hurt but I want to feel it myself and search this world for all that it is worth. I may travel to the very end and never find anything but I paved the path for someone else to. When I die, I'll go to a place that's warm with thunderstorms that take away your breath. Green grass and a home I've always loved. As for the story of me, there's not much I could leave out. I must make sure others don't make the same mistakes. Until the day I die, I want him to kiss me with that hunger in his eyes. I love that human and everything that he is.