It's Us?

She's telling me to give up, to grow up. World is spinning and I'm not ready to let yesterday go. They're telling me it's not gonna last, that only a child thinks on love. Everyone is telling me something bad. I'm a child, I'm gonna fail, I need to move on but most of all, they're tell me to leave you. I'm looking for answers but this new life is more confusing than I would like. There are no real options and I'm gonna explode the next time someone asks what I'm doing with my life. Well I'm a screw up. I'm not an adult and I don't want to be. The only thing I'm ever certain of anymore is you. You're there and within reach. Though I have to admit, I feel like I'm at this on my own.

You Won't Notice

When I put on my mask, no one can tell. I'm dancing with her, now you, them, and you'll never know who was just holding your hand. My mask is colorful with glitter and stars. All you can see are my blue eyes. As we dance, you'll keep guessing. I won't tell but I'm your prince, your princess, lover, friend. I'm your dream. Behind this mask, I'll be anyone and you'll fall in love with a stranger. All the things you wanted to hear, all the lies I could tell just to make you smile. For one night, you'll feel like a queen in my company. Don't doubt me, just know I can. Forever and ever. I'll dance around your dreams. Just don't lift my mask.

Dark Paradise

They tell me to forget your face, forget the memories, forget those nights. Yet every time I close my eyes, it seems you're staring back at me. When you haunt my dreams, I don't want to wake up no matter how much they hurt. I've tried to let go before and all it did was get me in trouble. So I've just settled with the fact that I'm never going to fully let you go, at least not for a long while yet. It's going on three years since you left and here I am, still writing in my notebooks, still wishing on stars. One day I'll finally forget you. Maybe then, it won't hurt anymore.

Fly Away

Some days, he comes to pass in my dreams. Always cryptic just like he was. Again, my angel was in my dreams and again, I was happy to see his face. This time though, my Angel was searching for someone who loved him more than anything. He asked a teller and the teller told him that the girl he looked for was closer than he knew. My angel walked out screaming that he would find her. If only he had known that I was just around the corner watching him from afar.

I Refuse....

I refuse to think that the possibility of having full equality in the world would cause anything. I refuse to think that some of my family wouldn't support the decisions I make. I refuse to think that my mom is dying. I refuse to think about the people who have screwed me over or the thought of war. For now, I refuse to think that the world is as bad as it is because maybe in the morning, I can deal with the hate, the pain, the torment and the loss. Maybe in the morning, I'll see the love that I missed today. I await the day when I'll be proud of the world I live in. So just for tonight, I'm going to curl up under my covers and pretend that's it's going to be all right.