Nighttime fears

The days seem to crawl by, leaving no hint of ever ending. It's only on these nights where I can sent seacret messages to my lover. Tonight, as I am on a time limit, I cannot talk to him though I wish I could. I would help this isolation be easier. My presence in this house has proven to be problematic in the least. The past fills my head and the moon rises slowly. The year is going to end soon and everything that has happened will be locked away in our memories. How I wish I could freaze time and spend those days with him. I want us to be together when I'm scared. How I cannot wait for the day when I can call him mine.

6 days.

Thanksgiving weeks. In school, it was already planned to have a short week but after Monday, my school never reopened. Thus, for the past two days, I have been alone. I haven't the chance to see my love. My mind is slowly going deeper into depression and my physical state has gone downhill. It has gotten harder and harder to hide my despair from my family. My love, how I miss him. As my emotions spiral out of control, Emily brings her rage. She is cut off from the one person who can give her what she wants. As being with a house full of girls torments her, she becomes enraged. Now with every argument proposed, she yells and screams. Both of us are going insane. I may have lived with these people for the last few months but I have always had a way out. Soon, I fear Emily may take matters into her own hands. Though I don't find that much problem in leaving home, I know that there will be problems and I cannot deal with them. I hope that I will see my love soon.

Pain in it's devilish form

Our love, mine and Emily's love. How much they differ but I fear she has gained too much control from the last encounter with my lover. She took over and kissed, he lost himself and soon our relation was changed. I fear to see him. What if his love has changed from the innocent fancy it used to be? I don't want to deal with the after effect of Emily's love. She was the one who killed my relationship. How I loath her, and as for him, how could he have not stopped? How can he not tell when I am not myself? He fell in love with me! Emily was the result of my kiss. She has laid dorment for most of my life and now she re-enters life. When he left, she was cold and deathy. Longing for love and now that he has returned, she has let loose her full power. I fought as best as i could for control but she has me lost in my own mind. Just kill this hate. Kill her. Rip her out of my mind before this gets out of hand, again.

Dancing on hopes

The snows falls on an icy patch just outside my home. Two people with great love for each other stand with inches of the other. Their eyes willed with passion as they say goodbye. They share a kiss and part with out any further word. She stands there and watches him walk away. She wishes so much to follow him home, to stay with him for the rest of her life. He wants so badly to turn around and watch as she walks inside her home. He loves her more than anyother girl in the world. They both part, both wanting to see the other, both loveing blindly. How refreshing to see a couple with few lies and hate. How sweet. Unfortunatly, that is not our story. There are lies, there are regrets. One thing remains the same, the couple in this story want to spend forever together. Will they?

Love the tears you cry

As this story comes to an end, the chapters never seem to stop. As the princess disappeared to her princes home, I too have moved on and away. My love for the princess is nothing but a fond memory of the past. The new lover I have come to know as my prince, left on a journey across countries to seek family help. As he tells me he loves me, I can tell in his eyes that he is telling the truth. He really loves me. He showers me with kisses everyday and while he is gone, he tells me about our future. He wants to make our love forever, to marry me. As our age limits us, he has vowed to wait and as soon as he can, he wants to get married to me and have a child. As we embrace, once more the Emily rushes at the chance to take over. I kiss deeper and my hands slide every so slightly under his shirt. Quickly my morals fight back and i gain control. i make up some random excuse and leave it at that. I know this problem is getting worse as each days goes by. Now as we don't see each other, Emily is suffering with all her pent up "love" as she calls it. Her eyes wander around the room, wanting to make the same mistake as before. She wants to pick out the guys she likes and have them all rush at her with love but luckily, she hasn't the chance. All she can do is stand and watch as they pass by. She won't take control of my life.

Hate

I still think back to the kiss shared three years ago. I think back to that sad day. I think back to the day when I first met the devil. She is still in my life but I know she still wants more. Her hateful glares that scream at me. how I want to forget her face forever. I want her to go away. I hate her for she has made me regret my life. She tricked me until she had her way. now I want to hurt her. I want her to die. I hate her. She killed me with lust. She took control of my life in ten minutes and now the bruises remind me that it wasn't my love like I had told myself. I told myself that he was there, doing those things. I screamed his name but when i opened my eyes, it was her. I had been fooled. I could I have let myself be sucked into it. Why was I so stupid. I hate her for now I know that I am no longer myself. I want her to go away. I want her to stop talking, stop looking at me, stop killing me slowly. Now the time has come. I shall give her a taste of hell. The devil needs to go back and leave me alone. Three years i have dealed with this crap and now it's too late. I will rid myself of her.

When Love is convused.

I'm in heaven when he kisses me. Sent from above, this man I have fallen for has taken me to dark place in my mind I never knew exsisted. This new part is full of lust and passion but is it for him? The princess I have loved for so long, fill in my head as his hand slipped under my shirt. I pushed him away, why would she be here after she has been gone for so long? I kissed another, I wanted another, but I cannot survive without him. As my mind goes deeper into the mysteries of my newly uncovered self, My mind acts on it first thoughts. My love was a series of kisses that seemed to all scream lust. As my body fell into pure undieing pools of red, my hands fell over his arms, my lips on his, my brain in a dark corner blocking this all out for this is not the gaurd you love, this is a woman older and more powerful than myself. This is the introduction to Emily. She takes my time with my new love and steals him into a swirl of evil kisses that spin into bites and scraches. Everytime though I am able to take control and stop the maddness before it goes to far. It makes me wonder when will the day come that she won't let me back? When she takes my love into her grasp and doesn't let him stop till she is done. When will the day come when a mental war starts in my head to take control of my own body. When will I lose, when will I wake up one day with him next to me? When will I lose myself to myself. When that day peaks its head over the hill, I will try to win.

Done

I have made my choice. The princess gave me what I wanted, she gave me the reassurance that I would never leave her mind. All i wanted is for her to know that I would always be with her when she needed. in the end I chose the boy. I didn't know why at first but now I know what it feels like to be loved. Even if everything is new i can get used to it. My new lover is what I needed. But soon new events will force me to part from the two. How will i keep up my love without a sight of either?

The battle

I shall now return to my place as guard captain but as I have ventured across lands I have looked back on my life. The princess, dancing in my dreams and forever more just a forbidden friend and the lonely boy whom is enchanted with thoughts of me. Both so needed in my life but one cannot be with me without the other gone forever. I have walked the middle road for so long and it has done nothing but tear my heart between the two. Now the time has come where I must choose one over the other. But whom will it be? I don't know if I can decide.

I dont

I don't want to let her fly away, i don't want her to leave. I want her to embrace me forever and keep me smileing. She thinks that I make her feel better but it's the warmth of our arms together that she feels. I need her more than she needs me. I want her to hold me close and never let go. I dont want to leave never.