My New Life

I knew it was trouble when we kissed. As soon as our lips touched, I felt my control slip away in an instant. Were we ever meant to be? I hope so because I don't think I can take another 'goodbye'. Some nights I stay up all night for no reason but I know you're on my mind. I've thought a lot about my past mistakes and I'm trying not to let that define me. I've got quite a few scars and I'm not sure you understand how many of my cuts still bleed. I just don't want to mess this up. I've been through quite a lot. I've been cheated on and tormented, been played and I'll admit I played some people. Love's been this big game for a while, a game I tend to lose no matter how hard I try. I've cried too many tears and I've got this shell that I retreat to. I've been this way for a long time now and it's not good. So I'm making some changes, dealing with this new body. I'm weak and I'm slowly coming to terms with that. So forgive me if you see my shell when I get scared. Forgive me for the wide places my head goes when I'm not focused. Forgive the things I do without warning and forgive my mood swings when I'm not that stable. You've been so nice to me and without even trying, you've stolen my heart. I want you to keep it and I'm gonna do anything in my power to keep it in your hands. Things are going to get hard and harder still. I don't know how to fix your problems but I can promise Ii can always be there when you need me. I want to be the perfect girl but that's not gonna happen. So just play nice. My hero.