Does He Know Who He's Dating

Does she know what you did to me? Did you ever tell her how long I loved you? Did you tell her what you did? What kind of person would do that? I loved you, harder than anyone. I did everything for you, put myself on the line and just watched as you loved her. Now what does it even matter? The hell I went through for you? For eight years, I did anything I could for you. You were always taken but I was okay with that. I didn't want to steal you away, just wanted to be in your life. We went on for years in the same way. I loved you, you loved her. You two broke up again and again and you would come to me. But you'd always go back to her. Did you tell her that night at the party? I didn't come for you, I came to talk to someone else. I came to fix something that was broken but you were there. Maybe you couldn't stand that I was in love with someone else. You spent the whole night on my arm, convincing me to do things I would never want to do. You were flirty and all over me and I was happy. Maybe you noticed that I was looking over to him, trying to get a moment to talk with him. You kissed me. Not the cute, 1 second kiss you had given me before. You kissed me long and hard. I didn't know how to feel about it. In later days, We would go on dates and you called me your girlfriend. We went to the museum, your favorite place. I took you out to eat and drove you home. You told your parents that we were dating and I was happy. And then you never called me back. You never texted or talked to me. I hadn't done anything wrong and yet I was tossed out. You wouldn't respond to anything. Months later I hear you're dating some guy. A guy you used to call ugly and gross behind his back. Did you ever call me those things? Whatever happened to your forever girlfriend? Did you do the same thing to her? This isn't the girl I fell in love with, she was never so heartless. Some princess you are.

The Moment I Knew

It started as a fight. Not like a screaming match or a boxing ring, but a fight between us. It came to that silent part, the part where everything hangs in the empty space between. He whispered, just loud enough for me to hear, "I'm gonna fix it. I'm not letting this go south. I want us to be together." That's when I knew, I'm gonna marry this boy.
He's a dork. Doesn't give me all the attention I want. He is sometimes very loud when he's excited.
But now I know, all this heartache over a boy who was Mr right at the wrong time. All this pain over a girl who never loved me back. All the tears over a relationship that I kept piecing  back together. This is the one.
I'm gonna fight for him, with him and beside him. He's the one.

A New Forever

I'm supposed to be asleep right now. It's late and I have work in the morning. I'm lying awake in my bed staring at what I can only think of as a blessing. A second chance. He's a lot like you until you get to know him. I'm looking at him right now while he sleeps and he's so handsome in the moonlight. We went to the mall together. It was to run an errand but he made it feel like a date. He makes me smile even when I don't want to. He's so nice to me. He's goofy and smart at the same time. God, I wish you could meet him. I wonder if you'd be happy for me? He's mine and I learned from you, I won't leave him. I won't give him up like I did to you. I'm sorry by the way. I hope he'll be my forever. We've made it this long.

Like the Stars Burn

I remember the pain in his eyes as he told me not to erase my picture. I remember the pain in his voice when he he asked me not to go. I put him through so much all because I never knew how much I needed him, how much I really loved him. I've tried to move on but a tear still falls when I think of what could've been between us. His love was pure. His love was real and for a short while, it was also mine. He met me at the wrong time, when I didn't know who I was, when I didn't know how to love. I miss him. Oh god,like the heavens burn, I miss him. We can talk now, small talk after everything but I miss our talks of the stars, how we would rule. If only we could've lasted. These last few threads make me happy, remind me how lucky I am to even have that, but I still wish for more. How selfish can a person be to destroy their love and then still want to broken pieces to put back together?

Am I Okay?

I can't feel anything. Lost and alone and I didn't think about it. It's been almost a year and for the first time, I feel like I've shared in a moment of your life. For just a moment, it wasn't painful and I smiled a bit. I don't want to mess this up. I don't want you to run away. I'm scared, I'm really scared and everything is up in the air. For once, it didn't suck to be here on this earth. For a moment, my heart raced and it was nice to have my friend back. Please don't let this be the last time.

A Passing Glance

I didn't expect kindness in your voice but I know it was because you were at work. I didn't think you would be there so I told them 'We should go there' thinking there wouldn't be a chance. I wanted to see you but I couldn't even lift my face to see your eyes. I wish you would text me, I wish you'd say something. If today is any indication of the rest of the year, I'm gonna be stressed, busy and still in love with you. I had forgotten that you told me we could be friends. At the time, I told you no because I didn't understand. I wasn't understanding. Now it's too late but god, I'd do anything just to be something to you again.