Not Me.

Somtimes it feels like I lost myself along the way. Feels like I can hardly take another day. Yet all you have given me makes me face everyday no matter what I want to feel. Me and you, we've had our history. Every summer day, every winter night, just dreaming to be in your arms again. I wanted you, I wished for you, then I got you. All my friends say you're not my type, tell me I could do better and I will admit that I have considered it once or twice but then I see that smile light up when you see me and I want you to forever, smile at me. When we're apart, people get ideas in my head and I start to question what I've done for you. I've never been the best, pretty close to the worst. I somtimes lie about how I feel and I hide myself away. I want things to be the way they were. Summer days hardly able to hold each other's hand cause we might blush. We talked about everything without even kissing once. I was proud of that. Proud to say that we liked eachother for our qualities, not our looks. Now days, it's all we ever do. We might talk a little between the kisses. If I'm lucky, I won't get trapped by you. You used to be such a perfect boyfriend. You were perfect but now, you're like them. It's like you don't even care about me. Like 'Love' is just another word to keep me kissing. You stop when I tell you and I respect that but the problem is that we can't talk if we're not kissing. We can't hold conversations without you trying to be the prince and kiss your princess. If you wanted to convuse me, good job cause I can't tell weather I love you or love the old you. My heart still wants to believe that there's still a bit of that boy left in you but my brain is telling me it's all gone. And so far, you havn't proven me wrong. Our 'love' is no more than a game of how far we'll get before I say "Stop". When I want to leave, you sit there and give me eyes that claim you're more than your actions. I fall for the same look everytime, making me feel like the bad guy. Well I'm not. I'm gonna listen to what feels right and until you prove you're better than that, I don't want to feel like crap cause you think you need me. You've made it without me and you can do it again. I don't care if you don't think you were really living cause you didn't have me. If you wanna keep me, you need to proove it cause this time, if I leave, I leave because of you.