Depression, Inspection, Perfection.

Night time brings a sense of deep thought to my head. As I try so hard not to get lost in my mind's inner maze, certain things bring me to become lost. So many things I wish I could take back. So many things that keep me awake at night, just wishing things could be different. I don't want to lose sleep over mistakes. I just want to be cradled softly in the arms of my sleeping angel. I don't want to inspect my life under a microscope, I just want things to make sense. After all my failures, it's become impossible to look past them. While new friends have never even known for me so failure, they soon see how badly my life leaves prints on everyone around me. Should I be thankful that people will remember me? Or should I cry in the thought that one day, I will want to be forgotten? When my insanity finally gets the better of me, will I be perfect? Was the plan outlaid for my life end with me laughing to myself and losing all I felt need to have in my life? I don't pretend to know what my future may hold but with the road I travel, I don't feel like I'll have another option other than insanity. I've changed so much over these past months but I feel as if it was all in vain. Possibly, I will receive the fortune of existing in a world where no one knows my face. Maybe then I'll regain the remaining parts of my head. Till that day I will watch. I will wait.