Watch Out, the Boogeyman is Cute.

I demand to be felt. Feel what you are without me. Feel the missing space of my lips and remember what it felt like to hold me close. Remember what it felt like to call my name and remember what my skin felt against yours. I am not some bottle to be thrown away. I demand to be felt. In the back of your mind you will feel me. I will make sure of it.

Dust and to Gold

Driving late at night, stars fade under harsh street lights. Hear the engine go, hear it roar against the speed limit. What was it like a year ago? I was in the woods. I was in your car. I was at the movies. I was smiling. Who are you anymore? I've never known you to talk behind someone's back. I've never known you to spread rumors. When I came to terms with everything I had done to you, everything I felt for you, you had changed. You aren't my friend anymore because of a line I gave you three years ago. You looked at me different but you didn't see me different. Then out of nowhere, you changed the lenses, you looked past me like I wasn't worth the time. The only explanation I get is that you changed? That I was too much? Four years and now, nothing. Nothing at all. No voice, no note, not even a hint as to what has happened.

And Now something bigger is happening. Something worse, and I can't talk to you. I don't want to talk to anyone else but I have to find someone else, someone to listen again. A part of me is dying. It hurts, everything hurts and I want to leave. I want to run away into oblivion. See nothing but black darkness of eternal. I'll want to hear you again, so if I call, You're voicemail would probably be nicer. I hope you come to the party.

Yes, It Was You

I loved you. Not the type where it went away or faded, but a type of love so strong that it lit this glorious flame inside of me. I felt I could do anything, I was everything you said I was. But I had never felt so indestructible before, so I made mistakes. I made a great mistake that lead to me losing you. I’ve dated people after you, trying to feel so free again but in truth, the only time I’ve felt alive was when I was in your room, your car, laughing and being what we were before. Now you’ve decided these years weren’t worth it and we aren’t talking. I see parts of you in my life. My friends joke and tell me I’m better off and I’m trying to be. One day, I want to talk to you again and tell you what I’ve been through. I want to call you up again. But I’m starting to understand that I need to learn to be free without you, alive without you. We were best friends, passionate lovers, and everything in between. I love you in such a deep way that it hurts, and I guess that’s the problem, it shouldn’t hurt to love you. It should be easy, but the pain lets me know I have to learn to love before I can love you. I need to love myself, love someone else, just love without you.