Anything But.

I hardly doubt these stories I hear. I know she's mad. I know he's sad. I know so many things but what do you want me to do? How can I help? Everything I do seems to be wrong. Go have fun. Don't do that. You're having fun wrong. Every single time. Is it so hard to ask that for once I have fun without people on my case? What did I do to deserve this? I've been nothing if not the best I can be for all my friends and you expect me to be perfect? So I don't seem like I'm listening? Why don't you take into consideration that if I can't help, I feel uncomfortable so I try to look around. I'm not good at fixing things so will you stop asking me what you should do? If all you ever give me is stupid metaphors for how to break up with my prince. I try to help, I really do but I don't have any answers you want. So for goodness sake's, just let me be happy. I want to enjoy my life but all these people want be to stop and deal with their drama. It's okay for her to kiss another guy but I can't spend time with my ex-girlfriend? It's okay for them to get wasted but if I fall asleep when I'm tired, I get yelled at. What if I'm done? What if I don't want to deal with all this stress. Everyone has said it before, I'm awesome at making friends so who says that I can't replace all my friends? Nothing is saying I can't just drop all my friends but I stay just so I might one day be able to help with their messed up lives. I've dealt with more than I should have had to deal with. Normal friends shouldn't treat their friend like baggage that's too heavy. Why am I the only one who wants to stand up, throw my hands up and do what I want when I want? Why can't anyone seem to want to draw a line? I'm done with all of this and next time you wonder why I'm gone, I want you to look in the mirror and think of anything you've promised me. Then think about what happened right after that. I'm done waiting for you to try and make it up to me.