Is It Over?

Sometimes, I just watch the night sky thinking over all the pain. I remember all the times I've looked out the window, wishing for different things every time. Now I lay here and I just want to feel alive. I've changed, my heart is on drugs. Turns out that the winning hand wasn't mine. I knew it would end up this way but I didn't derail this crazy train. It all comes down to what I really want and I wish I knew. I want a perfect love? No, I want I flawed love. Maybe. I have no idea what I want anymore. Just don't want to feel this pain anymore.