Horrible Pain

I've done something, something horrible. I know it was for the best but it hurts. It hurts more than any other choice I have ever made. I gave up the one I love. i wish i hadn't, I wish I could take it back but I know it wouldn't be right. He needs to live without me. He needs to let go of me because I won't be there. I can't take back all the pain but I can try and end it. When he realises that I was right, he will smile in my memory and move on with someone so much better. I just wish I could be the person he needs. I wish I could be the person to make his life better. I want to be the band aid over the cut, not the knife that started the whole mess.

Midnight moonlight

This world of mine is ever so small. The is nothing that can make me forget the things I have done. The promises I've broken, the pain I have put myself through. I am far from perfect and it shows in my past. I am just a scared girl. I have never done anything brave. Many times I have wanted to run away, run from everything but I never had anywhere to go. Everything has gone by in my life and I look back noticing how I never did anything to change my own future. I have never stepped forward in my life and claimed something for myself. I have never tried anything new and I feel the pain today. Just looking back, I never had the nerves to do much but when I did something, I was proud that I did. Things from years ago still bring joy to my life. Things that I never thought would matter, those are the things that have remained the same even through the harsh time. Bringing myself to admit my mistakes and asking for more than just a simple 'hi' in the morning. My best friend was from an apology after a wrong doing. My love came from telling him to sit next to me. Small times like that have helped me even three years later. I know nothing seems to matter right now but at I look back, It's true what they say. Live, Laugh, and love like you never have. It's those small moments that make a life so much better.

Never ending death

he holds my hand and I can feel my heart stop. When I see his smile, I find myself smiling too. He has done everything for me yet I have kept his life on a string. It kills me that he might leave. I kills me to know that I only have a few short years left with my sweet. It kills me to see him without me holding his hand. Everything about him murders me yet that is why I love him so. I love him for the reality he gives my life and for the uncertanty he gives me. He is everything in my life and the knife that cuts it apart.