It's been a while.
I thought I had finally found my happily ever after. I thought I was finally going to see my own wedding. I had dreamed about getting married with so many other people, but I was finally going to see it. Someone finally proposed to me of all people.
But the weight of the missing ring on my finger could drown me. The pain I feel, the hurt. I was ready to abandon myself for him. I was ready to cross all my lines to make sure I'd walk down that aisle. Piece by piece, I chipped away at my boundaries just so he'd love me.
It took so long for me to see what I had become and the type of marriage I would be in. It's taken even longer to get up the nerve to leave.
I'm looking down the barrel of a gun loaded with a life I want to life. I just have to pull the trigger and kill that last bit of this girl I created. Your new life will cost you your old one.
I moved everything for us. I paid for everything for us. I said yes to everything I didn't want just so he'd stay. Yet he left. He left and told me build our life without him. He'd come back when I was done and he'd live in the happily ever after I built.
I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't give anymore. Maybe that makes me a horrible person, maybe I was supposed to stay and work it out. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep giving. I couldn't build our life alone.
So now I'm gonna move again. Back to my family and I'll build my life without him. Because I will never sacrifice so much for a man who wouldn't even stay for me. It's time to rediscover myself. What do I like? What are my hobbies? Who am I?
He broke me but he will not beat me. I will fly again. I will soar.
