Out and Out

I could be everything you've ever dreamed. I could be all that you've wanted in life. I could fill every void in your life and be the missing piece in all you see. I could numb the pain. For the rest of time, I could be your perfect one. Yet here I am waiting for you to reach out for me. Would I even grab your hand if I had the chance? Would it be worth my time to try again? I've been waiting yet pushing you away at the same time. I've pulled you in, a breath away and pushed you across oceans because I want to get into that again. I want to get hurt, to do the hurting. I don't want to be the same person I was. You're always there and yet, never there at all. What about the life we had planned? Where did that one go? How is it that when I leave you alone for more than a day, suddenly I'm not worth it to you? Let me know when you're done going back and forth so I can give up at the right time.

And Yet, I find myself thinking about this more and more. The pain I feel when you look at her, the burning inside when she's on your mind. Like acid in my blood, eating me away inside. I remember hearing melodies across the fields. I remember spending the long nights in the woods. I think on those years we've spent together. Where did I go wrong? Was it when I decided I didn't want to hurt you anymore? Or was it when I decided that you were worth it to try again? When did it start to taste like battery acid when we kissed? When did it start to hurt to see you? And when did I become addicted to this pain you've been causing me?